tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85520674475625782852012-01-10T04:37:27.033-08:00This is where Auto-Win indulges her guilty pleasures: The L Word and South of Nowhere. Really Papi, Really.riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comBlogger1201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-78704656895506509042009-03-10T22:31:00.000-07:002009-03-10T22:55:51.051-07:00

Episode 608: The Last Word is at our new URL! Change your bookmarks, update your Google Reader, etc etc.!

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-7608951661431547812009-03-08T17:00:00.000-07:002009-03-08T17:24:09.862-07:00

Hey! Come join us at the New Autostraddle. No judging -- 'cause it's still being put together and right now is totally insane and mostly just L Word stuff [obvs that'll change Big Time Really Soon]. But! Right now if you go there you can read our kick-ass list of the Top 15 Best L Word Sex Scenes of all time -- it's too hot, basically. Too hot.Be sure to follow @thusspokejenny and friends on

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-85672236297003289562009-03-06T07:41:00.000-08:002009-03-06T09:18:00.780-08:00

Dear Autostraddle Readers,As you know, this Sunday night The L Word will be so Over it'll need a new word for Over. Though Season Six has done its best to ensure we don't miss a thing, we can't deny that -- quality aside -- this show has changed our lives and our world, and I want you to know that unlike Mark, Adele and Gomey; Autostraddle is not headed for the vortex -- but I'll get to that in a

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-77777394140159475902009-03-03T15:22:00.003-08:002009-03-14T20:19:52.331-07:00

When in doubt, dance. Dance, I say! Dance! Dance all over the stage, change your clothes, tear up the floor, waltz and tango and skip and mambo your smokin' hot bod down to the village square, hook up with the Pied Piper of WeHo and dance your way out of regularly scheduled programming into the idea well of death. Welcome to the recap of Episode 607 of "The L Word," entitled "Last Couple Standing

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-69786550338336626422009-03-02T08:26:00.000-08:002009-03-02T11:48:43.360-08:00

Hi lesbians and people who can tolerate hanging out with lesbians. This is Tinkerbell. While Riese is working very hard at writing the recap for episode 607 I would like to survey you for a Top Ten that Riese is putting together of The L Word's very best sex scenes. So please comment -- what's your favorite? You can only say one! Two if you MUST but if you list a whole bunch Riese will get very

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-22958047736355466592009-03-01T09:40:00.000-08:002009-03-01T13:09:08.371-08:00

I've decided to remove the content of this post [in which I told everyone who bitches at me here, on TLWO, on forums and via email that they can Suck It, which I still believe, btw] because I feel it is ungrateful to the thousands of people who have offered me positive support and encouragement, and to all the friends I've made through this show and the incredible online communities I've become a

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-22939720682041921962009-02-27T20:39:00.000-08:002009-03-14T20:18:32.161-07:00

"Bad news," I say when Emma picks up. "I'm making Sara watch Season One of The L Word, and she loves Jenny. Like earnestly." Sara was one of those straight-girl things, those things so many of us have done even though we know they're destined to end badly and with spectacularly rotten feelings all around [and usually with the straight-girl's boyfriend flipping out and/or wanting to join in].Emma

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-63217165158673233122009-02-22T23:32:00.000-08:002009-02-23T12:40:30.058-08:00

Episode 606 of The L Word, titled "Lactose Intolerant," is the worst thing I've seen on television since Episode 604 of The L Word. Howevs; whereas 604 was calmly terrible -- bumbling softly along its housework-heavy path of mediocrity -- 606 was outrageously, actively, aggressively terrible.Watching this episode was like watching an elephant bleed from the eyes. It was like watching a Pregnant

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-10301910616351262262009-02-16T15:47:00.000-08:002009-02-17T08:54:20.063-08:00

Hi-Ho the Dairy-O! Welcome to the recap of Episode 605: "Litmus Test." Yeah, we saw it. Yeah it was mad long, yeah I got one leg, yeah I just went to Hit club and Nikki Stevens hit on me, I was like back off bitch 'cause I can't go nowhere, 'cause I only got one leg, and I'm pregnant, and my house has two stories bitches, well not yet but it's gonna, yeah I killed Jenny, how you like me now, yeah

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-65587136456793096152009-02-08T19:09:00.002-08:002009-03-14T20:20:14.199-07:00

Remember last week when I said that I wanted 603 to be the finale because it was so lovely and ended with dancing? I bet you do, 'cause this was one of the worst L Word episodes ever!! Possibly one of the worst episodes of any television show ever, ranked somewhere between the Homeboys in Outer Space pilot and Taradise. About 15 minutes in, I literally started slamming my head against the wall.

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-6015133516918575492009-02-08T12:09:00.001-08:002009-03-22T10:03:35.289-07:00

[UPDATE: Hey! Since writing this piece we've moved Autostraddle from blogspot to wordpress, and since people are still talking about it, I want to redirect you to the piece now hosted at Autostraddle.com where you can read it and comment! I've turned off comments here at blogspot to ensure future conversation continues all in the same place -- on wordpress.]Hi! It's me Riese. As you'll see in 8

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com55tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-31208996025398901672009-02-06T09:07:00.000-08:002009-02-06T09:10:32.409-08:00

It's like a Queer, British My So-Called Life ... Autostraddle isn't exactly the go-to spot for glowing reviews of lesbian teevee. But today I come to you with Change We Can Believe In -- on Friday February 6th (today!), critically and commercially acclaimed Channel 4 British series Sugar Rush debuts stateside on the here! network [catch the preview here -- and I believe other eps are also

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-56628169027365994552009-02-01T22:00:00.000-08:002009-03-14T20:20:55.395-07:00

Welcome to the Autostraddle Recap of Episode 603 "LMFAO," the Series Finale of Showtime's hit series The L Word! What's that you say? This isn't the last episode? Fair enough, arguably true. Howevs, I suspect this might be the last episode that I actually enjoy. Furthermore, I imagine that at season's end I'll choose to block out 604-608 and remember the whole she-bang ending like ... well ...

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-57153872044356577132009-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:002009-01-26T06:41:25.089-08:00

Shane Shane Shane. Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny. Redrum. Hello! Welcome to the Romper Room. Today we'll be observing episode 602 of The L Word, titled "Least Likely." As in "The L Word is the teevee program least likely to be excellent."Hey guess what, I got a gig on Showtime, I'm the new Lezberado. You should watch it. Apparently a bajillion people already have. Who was the old Lezberado, you may ask

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-57846947636823794712009-01-22T15:44:00.000-08:002009-01-23T18:21:32.940-08:00

Hey lesbos and lesbo-allies! You know that show Lezberado that Showtime does online? It's like this girl, and she talks crazy about The L Word and herself, etc. Well, the old Lezberado is on the lam for killing a mobster's wife, throwing Jenny in the pool, poisoning Mr. Piddles and announcing at a press conference that she could fly. So they had to find someone new. Do you like how I'm making

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-51880287482746757742009-01-18T22:11:00.000-08:002009-01-18T19:13:07.846-08:00

La la la la la la. L word L Word L Word. Shane Shane Shane Shane Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny. Kill kill kill kill. Bette Bette Bette Tina Tina Tina. Let's make it like The Gauntlet this year. We'll be on teams, and an exec board will determine point distribution at each episode's end. Like Team Shenny, Team "TiBette" (not to be confused with the country, which's quite different), Team Sholly ...

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-58018853783615360572009-01-15T20:08:00.000-08:002009-01-16T09:41:59.573-08:00

Let's just get together and take care of these things being said by the peoples. So many feelings, all over the world wide web!In the Miami Herald - The L Word ends with a deadly sixth season, Mia Kirshner: "The dog incident was just outrageous. To this day, I don't understand why we needed to do that. It got to the point where it was like, can I lose my job if I refuse to do this scene?''NY

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-38243356737063445992009-01-12T20:32:00.000-08:002009-01-14T07:45:03.205-08:00

[UPDATE 1.14.09 - watch me & Tink on AfterEllen in the latest episode of "Alexi's Closet"!] How's everyone feeling on the edge of their seats? Shane Shane Shane. Jenny Jenny Jenny. Kill kill kill. [Sooo anyhow this summer I was editing this video using a twitter graphic as a time-framing device and thought omg, I'm gonna do L Word Recap Foreplay with fake twitters for Season Six! Then I saw

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-50608609024429965482009-01-08T08:56:00.000-08:002009-01-08T07:38:23.281-08:00

Listen first up I have some bad news. Jenny is going to die this season. What do Jenny and George Washington have in common? Both dead. Jenny and Virginia Woolf? Dead as drowned doornails. I also have some good news: despite popular protest, our favorite theme song "The Way that We Live" is BACK! As long as I can hear this song at least eight more times before I die, I won't be hitting up my

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-27354548871661355782008-12-29T01:38:00.000-08:002008-12-28T22:44:34.932-08:00

Remember that show South of Nowhere? Well too bad 'cause it's over now, you should've appreciated it more while you had it, like your first wife. This is why we don't own nice things. For example, I own a nice computer. This weekend a candle flew off the shelf and landed on my computer and all the wax took residence beneath my keyboard. I won't get it back for another 7-9 days and it's gonna cost

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-71977341593276119372008-12-21T07:15:00.000-08:002009-01-04T09:19:16.381-08:00

I'm going to channel my therapist [who's currently enjoying maternity leave while I slowly spiral into Jenny S2-esque insanity] for a minute here and ask: "Do you think it's possible you're talking about who killed Jenny to avoid looking at the REAL issue, Riese?" Good point, channeled therapist. What is the real issue? It's not fear of intimacy or my buried adolescent rage ... it's that in

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-4586592142251595842008-12-19T04:35:00.000-08:002008-12-19T17:37:44.945-08:00

Until about two hours ago, I thought this was the most ridiculous L Word related item of the day:Then I saw "Who Killed Jenny?" a hot ten-minute show squeezed onto Showtime's Thursday night schedule between two shows that, unlike The L Word, actually got nominated for awards this year.But before I get to WKJ, anyone who can guess what kind of Femblossom Kit's riding between Alice's ass and

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-46787358190740702752008-12-16T10:30:00.000-08:002008-12-16T10:37:27.648-08:00

Check out these hot buttons on Autowin right now, buy some for yourself or your girlfriend, and win eternal life for you & yours. They're good. They're first kiss good, like, private island good, like, I'd like to thank the academy good ...

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-2450042481594456792008-12-12T13:12:00.001-08:002008-12-12T13:28:11.143-08:00

[If you're looking for my S6 DOJ rant ("The L Word, Like the Cat, Has Nine Times to Die"), it's here. And Farm Spoilers are here and here.]I'm pleased to report that while Ilene was announcing the upcoming murder of my favorite L Word bundle of psychotic joy (Jenny), the kind people over at The N were doing something GOOD for us -- they granted us an entire episode that was not only occasionally

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-53007041890373958702008-12-05T10:55:00.000-08:002009-03-14T20:18:58.669-07:00

[Here ISO The FARM info? Scroll down or go right to this post and this post.][I wanted to forego TLW spoilers, per ushe, but one particular spoiler -- "who dies?" -- has made it through my filter. That's the only spoiler I'll address in this post, but if you don't wanna know, abandon ship immediately. ]++"I have done it again.One year in every tenI manage it ---"-Sylvia Plath, "Lady Lazurus"++

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-30660841905396387972008-11-28T17:16:00.000-08:002008-11-28T18:51:05.562-08:00

For the last two weeks, I've felt like an Amish battling the allure of electricity trying to keep away from any L Word Season Six spoilers (while simultaneously doling out The Farm spoilers like it's my job -- if only it was!). Yet I've remained, somehow, blissfully unaware of any transpired events from the last two weeks of actually-aired South of Nowhere episodes. I suspect no-one's watching

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-59803871337742366182008-11-25T13:35:00.001-08:002009-03-14T20:19:18.880-07:00

Before I unleash some additional Farm-related scoops, I wanna tell ya that Carly & I are gonna catch up on South of Nowhere tomorrow, so you can anticipate the double-recap as a Thanksgiving gift, since I don't like turkey. Haviland & I just made a new vlog, watch it! And on Wednesday you'll see our guest appearance on Alexi's Closet [UPDATE: It's right here!] on AfterEllen, in which Haviland

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-64101991332657451762008-11-19T13:19:00.001-08:002008-11-22T16:22:24.328-08:00

[UPDATE: The information contained below about The L Word spinoff is true. Um, I've had multiple notices that everyone thinks I'm kidding 'cause I'm always making stuff up about this show when I'm bored with what they're giving me. But I swear, I'm telling the truth! I've got the scoop!] [UPDATE 2! The Weblog Awards are actual awards that actually matter, I swear, and today Friday the 21st is the

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-80056314634556661542008-11-17T06:17:00.000-08:002008-11-17T10:05:18.235-08:00

As you know, although we're all presently alive, we will one day be dead as doornails. Some earlier than others; e.g., Dana Fairbanks, who came down with a mean case of Chaiken Cancer two years ago and died almost instantly. We'll always remember Dana as a victim of The L Word's effort to kill & gut & emotionally manipulate its most loyal fans. There's a new Season Six promo that suggests with

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-61823513047900896162008-11-12T16:10:00.000-08:002008-11-12T16:48:39.606-08:00

This episode was gay. I don't mean homosexual gay. I mean stupid gay. For the ten of you who are still watching this show and the three who are still reading this recap -- I apologize for our lateness. We are just soSO busy! Don't worry, heaps of fun is in store, it's just fashionably late fun. Speaking of fashion ...Hi guys! Do you like our new haircuts?++Well, we don't like your gay show!++

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-33435211185252848722008-11-02T16:51:00.000-08:002008-11-10T08:36:17.396-08:00

South of Nowhere wasn't on this week, right? I've been moving and moving and moving and moving.Win The L Word: The Complete Fifth Season on DVD. "THE L WORD returns to DVD with THE COMPLETE FIFTH SEASON on October 28th in a collectible 4-disc set. DVD includes all 12 dramatic and deliciously provocative Fifth season episodes from Showtime's successful long-running series featuring all the beauty,

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-9495829715675217992008-10-29T11:59:00.000-07:002008-10-30T06:43:37.826-07:00

Carly & I couldn't get our shit together last weekend, 'cause we're both very busy & important. Therefore I've got no photos of us. Howevs, I'm confident that our photos and collected commentary would've felt cold there in the shadows cast by the bright sunlight of the jam-packed action-stuffed overwhelmingly exciting Episode 11 "A Very Inconvenient Truth." Next week we'll be on the ball, we've

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-52817879707749950032008-10-27T07:16:00.000-07:002008-10-27T07:18:17.307-07:00

Sorry about the delay, it's Carly's fault. South of Nowhere recap will be up tomorrow at some point. In the meantime, read my final thoughts about the 8against8 campaign here.

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-41746730418999771832008-10-19T23:35:00.000-07:002008-10-20T16:01:16.555-07:00

Hi guys! Welcome to South of Nowhere's last hurrah! Apparently this show got canceled (perhaps Hot Topic went under and they lost their sponsorship deal, though I hope for Ashley's sake she got to keep all those studded wristcuffs) but The N managed to squeeze its last eight episodes into their jam packed schedule of Moesha re-runs. Why do Carly and I watch this show? Because we will watch

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-39652840768506946962008-10-18T23:27:00.001-07:002008-10-18T23:34:44.336-07:00

We made a drinking game to entertain ourselves and one of the items was to drink continuously for as long as Spashley actually make out. Like we start drinking when their lips touch and stop drinking when they stop kissing and I'm just gonna say, we could've been a hell of a lot drunker. Also, I hope you are voting against 8 and for Obama.Mostly, I am excited to recap South because I am pumped

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-74066809779234569432008-10-13T20:37:00.001-07:002008-10-13T21:01:08.578-07:00

I hear South of Nowhere has already started. Is anyone watching it? Anyone wanna hear what me and Carly have to say about it? Any partial nudity yet? Stunning Glenisms? Has Ashley phunked with Spencer's heart? Any teen pregnancy? Bogus MTV True Life Documentaries? Incest?!!!Let me remind you what we had to say about it last season:

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-90462895469209959752008-08-06T08:19:00.000-07:002008-08-06T08:22:40.916-07:00

Wanna see a teevee show that was edited by MeMeMe and stars Haviland Stillwell? Yeah you do!"The latest episode comes straight from the latest R Family Vacations cruise (the cruise line started by actress Rosie O'Donnell along with Kelli O'Donnell) featuring exclusive interviews, performance footage and more from the cruise ship including Rosie O'Donnell, Christine Ebersole, Andrea McArdle,

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-22077018415173636362008-07-11T14:01:00.001-07:002008-07-11T14:01:57.532-07:00

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-63306905271033848202008-06-23T12:54:00.001-07:002008-06-24T14:48:53.355-07:00

Every Sunday I [say I'm going to] write a Top 10 on my regular blog Autowin. Howevs, this Sunday [and by Sunday I mean "Monday,"], in honour of NYC pride, I'm hosting a Homosexy Lesbian Top 20 right here! On Autostraddle! Clearly Autowin is a very intellectual and highly cultivated space for intellectual discussions about Virginia Woolf, The Allegory of the Cave, Boy-briefs vs. thongs and

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-10924484980992697562008-05-30T10:54:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:40.193-08:00

Once upon a time, I thought that in order to be taken seriously as a journalist, one must posses things like functional equipment, a nice business suit, social skills, serious glasses, etc. But two weeks ago Alex & I went to the Logo New Now Next Awards (a.k.a. the Homosexual Awards) with fake microphones, a tiny handycam, an OMG WTF t-shirt and a stuffed dog named Tinkerbell, and, as the video

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-24746892047823166392008-05-15T10:53:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:40.600-08:00

Hello, lesbians and other appreciants of lesbian television. Here we are in the late spring/early summer of our potential content, sans our weekly dose of Finger Lickin' Good Fried Chaiken ... and subsequently, sans recaps of aforementioned extra-crispy juicy terrible/AWESOME teevee delight. I'm still a card-carrying member of Team Honest, so rest assured that the Round-Up I promised will

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-90647743037911299922008-03-24T00:42:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:40.715-08:00

This week we held a massive fiesta [approximately ten attendees, not including stuffed animals] to celebrate the end of L Word recap season. In fact, we were rockin' so hard/requirin' so many beverages to cope with the Shenny fallout ... that we forgot to take photos ... sooo, Cait, Alex and I did a quick A.M. shoot. As for the others: luckily many of the finale "party" attendants were not

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-71866322393865712602008-03-20T16:34:00.000-07:002008-03-20T13:39:56.388-07:00

Go Here to check out our video which we are hoping will win the Grand Prize in this year's SXSW Uh Huh Her contest. Or see it here:I first saw Uh Huh Her at the Mercury Lounge in August of '07, with Carly, Heather and Haviland. Cait was also at this concert, but I didn't see her there, 'cause we didn't know each other yet. Now we're friends, which just goes to show: Uh Huh Her is the fabric of

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-27814602568293770922008-03-19T22:24:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.035-07:00

Cait caught the episode before I did -- Monday morning (I was sleeping). The night before we'd been maniacally hunting the internet for uploaded episodes, searching YouTube like 5x11 was an easter egg (or an afikkomen) while Crystal and Tara were partying in Austin. No dice. So ... I woke up on Monday still unawares and Cait told me right away: "You can't recap The L Word this

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-64571523831414421892008-03-19T07:52:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:41.423-08:00

Hey lesbos and lesbo allies. The recap'll be up by nightfall, but I thought I'd shave twenty minutes off my duties by asking you, the people, for your input on the "quote of the week." Right now I'm thinking Alice, "I will be out of balance if you make me live in this shithole," but I'm not sure if it's a standalone enough to reap the rewards ... or if it is truly the best quote of the episode.

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-10253604809204596942008-03-16T22:29:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:41.653-08:00

OMG wasn't 511 THE MOST? I've got no idea, 'cause some people have been leaking spoilers all over the internet (what people? I dunno! E-mail me, I'm jonesing), and therefore it's been all-but-impossible to get my hands on the press screeners I generally use to produce mega-timely recaps for y'all ... and I'm in a room in Texas w/o Showtime. Yes: the last two episodes are secretly very secret.

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-33537422776242876532008-03-09T18:26:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.039-07:00

Of all foods: french fries. Of all underthings: boybriefs. . Of all girls: Shane. Of all cheekbones: Tasha's. Of all L Word writers: Angela Robinson. Of all cities: New York City. Of all songs: "Just Like Heaven," by the Cure. It's just ... such a perfect song, and the last song I ever expected to hear during an L Word sex scene! I was ready for some woman with a lot of feelings to

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-64758247552309011472008-03-02T13:14:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:41.783-08:00

*Haviland absolutely cannot live without us and thus, this weekend, Cait & I visited her in Los Angeles, alleged location of "The L Word" and confirmed location of the Hollywood Wax Museum. We drove through canyons & indiscriminate sunshine and -- yes ... Saturday night we attended Lesbian Oil Wrestling, sponsored by OurChart and attended by Molly, Dawn Denbo, Michelle Wolff, my true love Ilene

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-68920686753681655962008-02-24T21:42:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:42.234-08:00

This week's viewing party was attended by Natalie, Cait, Alex and -- obvs -- memememe. As you can see in the above photo, Natalie felt so inspired by Jodi's Moroccon Feast Outfit that she made her own, using only bedsheets and a decorative pillow. P.S., Vote Riese for Lesbian Blog of the Year -- it might come down to just a few votes, so every vote counts --whomever it's for. Takes like two

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-11636847010462710602008-02-19T17:23:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:42.456-08:00

When You Wish Upon a Star, Your Lesbian Dreams Come True!*I completed/published the recap in stages this week -- we were very busy this weekend making memories and I couldn't get the whole recap done by 10 P.M. on Sunday, which's generally the imaginary deadline I set for myself and upon which you've likely come to depend. If I were you, I might hate me a little bit, like, "You can't write our

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-9047241986106043012008-02-10T20:56:00.003-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.044-07:00

*Alex: Oh my God! They mentioned Angie!Riese: It's like the night of the living dead! Everyone from the vortex is gonna come out!Cait: If Angus comes back, my head's gonna explode.Haviland: Where's Papi?Tinkerbell: Rup! Rup!* Something really weird happened during this week's viewing (attended by me, Cait, Alex & Haviland), and I'm not just talking about when Tinkerbell learned sign language. At

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-3461230829983795422008-02-03T22:00:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.045-07:00

So, how about them Giants/Patriots? There's nothing that gets me going quite like a bunch of men in shoulderpads rolling around on the grass trying to beat each other up, kicking/throwing balls in the air/through goalposts and stopping every 1-2 minutes to stand around planning how they're gonna bend over on all fours the next time around. Ho-hum. Oh! Yes there is! LESBIAN DANCE PARTIES!*Also

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-47892090367277306962008-01-27T18:45:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.047-07:00

Live from Miami ... it's L-WORD NIGHT!Once upon a time, I wanted to be a Broadway star like Shirley Temple, singing and dancing in sailor outfits on the Good Ship Lollipop. Then I grew up and realised I couldn't sing, got kicked out of choir, realised I didn't like other people, and found my true calling: staying indoors, typing away in a cold dark room. This happens to many people: one day you

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-92077105608852728962008-01-21T22:10:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.048-07:00

Ok whoa!! Last week I was talking about this show like it was the real deal and now it's letting us down, just like our first wife! Episode 503: "Letdown." The first scene: pure, unadulterated bliss. Everything following the first scene: so terrible, I found myself often accidentally/constantly sticking my finger in Alex's ear. She actually likes it a little bit, she just won't admit it. We've

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-39886510526015350192008-01-13T19:24:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:42.854-08:00

Our Sentiments Exactly! So um ... Episode 502 ... was ... good? Not bad. Yup. Yeah. No big complaints. It wasn't an Emmy-award winning stunner -- not a spectacularly mind-blowingly ridiculous hour of HOT SEX AND PURE POETRY (e.g., 114- The Season One Finale, 305 -Alice-Uta Vampire Sex & Cherie-Shane Pool Sex, 112 -Dinah Shore Weekend, 205 -When Dana & Alice Do It,

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-29796782180010502352008-01-06T09:00:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.051-07:00

OMG you guys my name is Riese have you heard about this show The L Word? It's soooo awesome! It's like all these lesbians, it's like the way that we live. Wow. I wish I could open this recap with a little musical number w/dancers, like The Nutcracker. Unfortunately, this is the internet, not the local playhouse. Soooo, tonight's viewing was attended by me, my BFF Haviland, and our

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-43855262215969834672007-12-31T16:09:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:44.238-08:00

What's up girls and girl allies? You're all looking great tonight, really tops, nice caftan. So, did you catch Episode 501 "LGB Tease" last night on OurChart? I didn't (more on this in a minute) But! I watched it just now, and I can't believe that Jenny becomes a porn star and marries a mobster's wife! I mean, seriously, when are these girls gonna put their clothes back on and start talking

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-49466554645567028412007-12-14T07:03:00.000-08:002007-12-14T07:06:08.974-08:00

New Vlog -- includes outtakes from L Word readings! More fun than watching paint dry!

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-68540686675256720922007-12-06T16:23:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.054-07:00

OMG have you seen the new teaser? I hope so, because it'll really enhance not only your overall life, but your experience watching the latest and greatest Autostraddle Vlog. OMG are you going to see Uh Huh Her tonight? We sure are! I think I've seen Uh Huh Her more times in 2007 than I've seen my mother, that's kinda lame. That's an "L" word, p.s. Lame.You guys, it is over for me and i-Movie

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-16407131638538879342007-11-28T23:14:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.055-07:00

You know how some people, like musician/actress Leisha Hailey and photographer/actress Jennifer Beals, have many talents? I'm one of those people. In addition to my superior writing skills, I'm handy with a vodka bottle, handy w/my own two hands and handy being handsy. Furthermore, I've got a knack for guetsbianisim, lesbianism and celesbianism. But most importantly, I've got the mistaken

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-69646636565721280272007-11-24T02:25:00.000-08:002007-11-24T00:58:13.971-08:00

Once Upon a Time, my blogger-friend Lozo [he's strai and male and therefore not big into the autostraddle cannon 'cause The L Word's basically 30-50 minutes of poorly hairstyled women talking/screaming about their feelings, which's what dudes like him try to avoid at all costs] broke off all his fingers in a terrible crocidile incident, and Haviland and I, being the naughty nurses that we are [

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-30952234891919882202007-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.057-07:00

[Hiya. I'm recapping the pilot. I finally finished! The pilot is so long you guys, it's like recapping Hamlet.]We had really ambitious dreams to fulfill your dreams [in our imagination, people dream about recaps] by recapping Seasons One and Two before Season Five begins. So: Carly, Zoey and I began last Thursday with the Pilot. Howevs, when the application that audio-records our witticisms

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-57187795301746568762007-10-14T07:57:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.059-07:00

I actually assembled the elements of this post in April, I think. Never finished it. Carly asked me about Part Duex after we'd first met, like in June, and I was like "Oh, I didn't think anyone cared," and she was like "I CARE!" I'm guessing she's not the only one. I mean, there're probs hands down totes a gazillion people who care.Also:-They posted up Part One of my Season Four Wrap-Up on TLW

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-71103969025567854382007-10-03T23:25:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.060-07:00

Some kind of wonderful anonymous has just informed me that The L Word's Season Five promo has dropped. It has now Landed in my Lap, as one might say, if one preferred L words. Normally, I wouldn't click to it immediately and then recap it within 10 minutes of viewing, but I'm ... hm. No excuses. I'm just Lame. The L word is "Lame." Not lame with an accent on the "e" [which I clearly don't

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-64915792998940545932007-09-24T22:35:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:44.456-08:00

This is a recap of the finale of "South of Nowhere." Apparently we were so awestruck by the trenchcoat incident that we totally forgot to take photos. Yeah.Back to basics, y'all: Just Team Awesome this week, a.k.a. Carly n' Riese. I had to re-use a vintage photo for this occasion, SEE ABOVE. Look at that photo. We were so much younger then. So innocent. So naive.OK SO: thanks to the magic

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-52774773424777784082007-09-16T08:45:00.001-07:002008-12-10T01:50:44.642-08:00

This week we had quite a crowd! Unfortunately there was probably more sexual energy between members of the viewing audience than between any South of Nowhere characters -- and that's really not saying much. [Angelica was also present, but, per ush, managed to duck out of all photographs.] Also, I was wasted. I can't speak for the other children, though Vicky claimed to've just come from an

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-74192085477395907812007-09-11T19:08:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.064-07:00

Carly, Riese, Vicky. This week, we watched on Sunday afternoon, 'cause on Friday Carly and I were in our own individual homes, going crazy busy with stuff. By Sunday, our respective stress levels were, if anything, higher, and the piles of work no less intimidating, and we'd gotten a collective total of about six hours of sleep between the two of us, as is evidenced by our hoodies, hats and

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-82335317368218483752007-09-10T21:03:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:44.801-08:00

Carly is under that hood.There once was a show we called South.With girls who kissed each other on the mouth.But now this seasonwe've been given no reasonto think Aidan is going to come outI just said that because it rhymedit is well past recap-due timeBut I promise it'll comeas soon as it's doneand probs before Spashley ever make out.See, that would have rhymedup there with that other lineOh

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-71037755998174154592007-09-03T20:12:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.067-07:00

Welcome to the recap of South of Nowhere Episode 5. We are full or partial homosexuals or friends of homosexuals and we will watch almost anything that has hot girls in it who might end up kissing before the end of the season. In our spare time, we enjoy long walks on the beach, playing with our hair or each other's hair, collecting plastic figurines of Civil War Heroes and polishing our

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-45848168720625952812007-09-01T12:33:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:45.369-08:00

Team Awesome has a Super Cool "Living it Out" Related Meeting Super-Soon. We also both work all the time and're often photographed pulling out own hair out. Therefore, we had the BRILL idea to host a post-South of Nowhere Write-a-Thon to accomplish a great deal of things.So ... it's 12:20 P.M. right now, and I've not slept. Unless Carly's currently dozing en route to Penn Station, I imagine

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-7072314376942117302007-08-26T02:48:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:45.656-08:00

South of Washington Heights This week's viewing party was sponsored by Smirnoff Ice and Diesel, and featured the talking/laughing-over-the-teevee talents of Riese 'n Carly (obvs), with super special guests Vicky, Chase, and Angelica. I've got no official complaints to register, re: episode length or scheduled time. This week, I owe our collective blasted-ness to nothing more than the deep

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-3067806205165297842007-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:47.312-08:00

This week we introduce a few new features:1. Per Carly's suggestion, "The Papi Award," bestowed upon the worst "fashion" of each episode.2. "1-310-Spashley," which will feature an in-depth analysis of Spashley's Phone Conversations. [Did anyone else notice they didn't interact face-to-face this episode?] For example, if Spencer were to say "What are you wearing?" and Ashley responded 'Just a

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-15581063802767404512007-08-18T00:28:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:48.224-08:00

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-32267507987014159882007-08-12T17:51:00.000-07:002008-10-14T18:25:11.069-07:00

Because I clearly need a swift blow to the head from Aiden's brand new baseball bat [just occurred to me: why did he just buy a baseball bat? Is he going to be on Girltrash?], I had a brill idea to recap The N's teen-soap South of Nowhere. For those of you that're here 'cause you read my L Word recaps, I should say this right now: my best friend Haviland, whom many of you enjoy, has shows (she's

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-12380627418768236972007-08-11T00:48:00.001-07:002008-12-10T01:50:48.823-08:00

Hey ... Ashley? Papi called. She wants her hat back.You are never too old to drink alcohol out of Solo plastic cups.Here's the thing about recapping a show that airs on Friday nights: clearly, I'm going out. [Side Note: I wouldn't've ever gotten into SON if I'd been going out every Friday night, obvs ... but I'm in this phase now? Where I'm trying to like, get some air?]I mean ... who wouldn't

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-56196363317704539222007-07-24T21:12:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:49.282-08:00

Back in the day, when I was even cooler than I am now, I used to "go to work" every day, many hours in a row, totaling about 60 hours a week, most of 'em at an unpaid internship. By Friday night I'd be like "I'm not going out. I'm going home, putting on sweatpants and shoving some food in my mouth." But instead, I'd go to the gym, come home, take some stimulants, turn on "The N" and clean the

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-64699198483738168072007-07-02T23:41:00.000-07:002007-07-02T23:45:46.024-07:00

Sunday Night, 7.1.2007, circa 11:30 p.m.:Me: "I need to think of an idea for my Sunday Top Ten."Carly: "Oh, you mean your Thursday Top Eight? Your Tuesday Top Six?" This's a dispatch from Carly & Riese's Gay Sitcom Write-a-Thon 2K7, which's been, thus far, Extremely Successful. [Aside from a brief break on Saturday night to get drunk/be drunk and another on Sunday night to watch the Big Gay

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-14931612363542831102007-06-26T23:24:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:49.489-08:00

Carly:We could do But I'm a Cheerleader except it's awesome, so it'd just be us saying how good it is.Riese:I know, I love But I'm a Cheerleader.Carly:But I'm a Cheerleader recap:"Oh, I love this scene.""Oh that was so funny.""I love Clea Duvall.""Great film."Riese:"This sex scene's kinda hot."Carly:"Totes."Riese:"What's that music?""Hahaha!""RUPAUL IS AMAZING"Carly:"I have the soundtrack! They

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-15367194832471398602007-06-03T10:24:00.000-07:002007-06-04T11:01:35.762-07:00

Hello homos n' allies! At last season's glorious end, I announced my intention to write the first episode of Season Five on this blog. This's clearly for our [our=me, you, and everyone we know] own entertainment and humility, as I suspect I.C.'s not about to call me and offer to buy it, though if she did, I think it'd change everything and possibly make up for the swift untimely death of

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-30273012623012675112007-05-03T22:37:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:50.252-08:00

I'm totally getting back to this blog ASAP. Because you know what? If I.C. can write The L Word without any regard for the emotional well-being and/or admiration of her fans/dedicated-haters, then I can write Automatic Straddle without any regard for the fact that The L Word isn't on right now. Like: I don't need you! I found this great lube, called Boy Butter?**In the meantime, there's my

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-46458128271098558422007-04-11T20:20:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:50.401-08:00

Welcome to your very first installment of the Season Four Wrap-Up. Why end Season Four when Season Four ends? Why not continue to suck every possible ounce of material from this malnourished program? Don't you want a few more weeks to laugh-cry in your cubicles, drool over Haviland, curse 500 storylines at once, gape at Bette's regal fabulousness, start the linguistic revolution and, once

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-42178347273769065522007-03-28T00:09:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:51.915-08:00

Because we're so cool we can barely even breathe, our finale "party" (I say "our" because even though it was "mine," really I was too drunk to be a "hostess," which is one of many reasons why I have Haviland) was graced not only by a mag-assignment-expense account (read: free food and drink) but by photographer Layla Love, who's fine work you may have spotted on Hav's website/myspace and my

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-69213794632859196892007-03-26T09:23:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:52.857-08:00

Disclaimer: feel free to hit reload as much as your little hearts desire, it helps up my stats on site-meter.

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-48511062559059281822007-03-20T22:57:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:53.068-08:00

[Disclaimer: I'm sleepy and this is probably totally filled with errors. Which I'll fix. Like, within the next 24 hours? But I have to get some sleep and be on THE VIEW tomorrow morning at 11am for Ro's b-day plus Haviland will be performing and Heather and I will be just like, chillin' and winning stuff.]Okay. I'd like a literary license to kill the writer of this show. Arguably, that's sort

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-7804260090872921822007-03-19T01:16:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:53.359-08:00

Riese, Heather, Awesome, Haviland. Haviland's shirt, p.s., reads "as seen on myspace." Speaking of lesbian television and places to see Haviland, we are all going to The View on Wednesday morning for Ro's b-day. Hav will be in drag, singing about the French Revolution like a good little pumpkin. Heather and I will be in the audience, wearing something bright and matching. Look out for large

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-18283644985238137542007-03-13T07:35:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:50:53.577-08:00

It's 6:17 AM on Tuesday. Circa 2AM, I was pretty certain I'd have this lovely epic up for y'all before 3AM. But then um, t.b called, and she had this really long story, like a box set? Which is usually a term used for CDs, not books, but whatever, I mean, wheee umactually, I was only planning on a novella, but She brought the whole set and what--Right. Um--The L Word! Yes. I saw it on Sunday

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-77385915876530604802007-03-09T00:13:00.000-08:002007-03-09T07:52:34.597-08:00

I. ThanksII. The TudorsI. MY dear Automatic-Straddlers, what can I say but thank you for your support in the race to Guestbianism. Thanks to you, I will have another place on the internet to write about myself. Undoubtedly OurChart will change forever, and then, the world will change. For all of you who helped me bang Lisabang: all your hair will turn to gold, and you are all going to have

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-47193422524887312432007-03-06T00:18:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.082-07:00

First of all. Please everyone go to this Our Chart page right now, and nominate me to be a Guestbian blogger at OurChart. Seriously, because otherwise it's going to be you-know-who. Also, Our Chart is up now. You can start your page, be my friend, or whatevs.I have been told by my intern full-time caretaker that I get "fierce" in this re-cap. I just want everyone to know that no matter what

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-62826556857664111192007-03-05T10:47:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:54.387-08:00

It's coming together. Right now. Over me. Dum. Dum Dum DududududududuahThat's right. The re-cap is coming. I'm trying to do something really, you know, like visual, and different, like, really play with the medium, really just be like out-there you know, like Lesbian-Galore instead of lesbian-snore, you know, like make the audience think "What is that, Really Papi?" Like, what are these

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-5271047751766790072007-02-27T01:34:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:54.658-08:00

A Prelude to a Re-CapWritten on Friday, February 23, 2007: This morning I cried on the phone to DHL because my press DVD was supposed to arrive on February 16th, and clearly that didn't happen. I told the operator I didn't trust her and I knew she was lying to me. This clearly has been a high-stress day. In fact, DHL forced me to spend the entire afternoon under house arrest waiting for their

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-68242172118519520252007-02-25T20:55:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:50:55.914-08:00

we got your recap, children. we got it real good.Helen Mirren just won "Best Actress" for a movie I obviously didn't see (something about British people in fancy dresses, maybe it was called "The Tudors"? Whatevs) and she said "this is the best and the biggest Gold Star I've ever had in my life." Then she used the word "gold star" like thirty more times. Ellen probably picked up on that,

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-6485154106582376702007-02-19T22:42:00.000-08:002007-02-20T15:06:13.458-08:00

FYI the Life Lesson is: gay people are people too.You might be wondering "What is the quote of the week from last week, Riese?" Well, I had a small problem, which is that I received so many votes I had to upgrade my membership to the place where I host my surveys in order to access them. I'll need to upgrade again in order to see the most recent 414 or so votes--or pay for each individual vote,

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-8693597121971482462007-02-18T23:57:00.000-08:002008-10-14T18:25:11.085-07:00

The Recap might show up a little later--hopefully tomorrow---because I didn't have a press-copy DVD and therefore had to watch it in tandem with my minions, and then do the screen-caps afterwards, and I've also made a resolution this week which is "sleep a little bit sometimes."In the meantime, I am posting below a continuation of "The Sunday Top 10," a regular on my "Automatic Win" blog. This

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-35004266574708165392007-02-12T21:44:00.000-08:002009-01-28T20:19:01.589-08:00

And here's to you, Angela Robinson!Here's what you need to do. Assemble an A-TEAM:Angela Robinson, AM Homes, Adam Rapp.Take over.STAT.Post-ep, Lainy sent this text to me: "Best episode in like 2 years. I almost came like twice."This week, I will be allowing you--the people--to vote on the best quote, because, as you will discover later, I am operating under duress and therefore I am unable to

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-58764302238426284552007-02-11T20:22:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:01.069-08:00

And here's to you, Angie Robinson,We confess we love you more than you will know.God bless you, please, Angie Robinson.Heaven holds a place for those who get laid,Hey, hey, heyWe'd like to know a little bit about you for our filesWe'd like to help the show to help itselfLook around you all you see are satiated eyesStroll around the writers room until you feel at homeAnd here's to you, Angie

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-22223055151621876742007-02-05T04:06:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:05.009-08:00

This week's episode is called "Lez Girls." I have no idea why. I sure hope they dissect it for me.Wanna see something really freaky? This is Phyllis's family at the Carnival. If you are wondering, yes, her children are aliens. Just like, look at this picture really hard and tell me if you don't think that's the talking baby from the Quiznos commercial, but decapitated and pasted on the body

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-52009858849214224202007-02-01T15:14:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:05.831-08:00

COME ON ILENE, I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE!or"I wanted to name this post whatever the female equivalent of "blue balls" is, and then I realized that there wasn't one, except 'lesbian bed death,' which relates to emotion and to a couple and to a permanent situation involving metaphorical DEATH rather than a sexual state that needs immediate and obtainable relief, which pretty much sums up everything I

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-21246688497263289152007-01-29T21:00:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:07.711-08:00

This week's episode, Layup, was like a sandwich where the bread is really good overpriced 7-grain whole wheat and the meat is like, Kung Pao Chicken from the dumpster behind Empire Corner and the lettuce is actually from our last fresh direct order, which was in 2006. If that metaphor is confusing to you because you don't eat sandwiches (which is fine because I don't either, they don't make

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-21834988823687762622007-01-29T07:32:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:08.767-08:00

It's comin'. Yup--there--ok can you--ok. There....ok good...ok no teeth....ok good...OK It's coming...the recap-ish-thing is coming...yeah...yeah---OH JESUS FUCKIN AFor you, SloGreenX:

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8552067447562578285.post-91412941064761046942007-01-22T14:30:00.000-08:002008-12-10T01:51:17.938-08:00

I have one main thing to say about this episode of the Showtime Drama 'The L Word" (p.s. my recapish thing below will be up on "The L Word Online" in a few days, FYI) titled "Lassoed Into Thinking Bette and Nadia were gonna get down with it, or: L'Tease":REALLY, PAPI?REALLY???!!!!This was like watching a bunch of outtakes from a bad porn movie where they left in all of the ridiculous pre-sex

riesehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11088087483121384868noreply@blogger.com14