AUTOSTRADDLE HAS MOVED! Check out the new autostraddle at www.autostraddle.com !!

Listen first up I have some bad news. Jenny is going to die this season. What do Jenny and George Washington have in common? Both dead. Jenny and Virginia Woolf? Dead as drowned doornails. I also have some good news: despite popular protest, our favorite theme song "The Way that We Live" is BACK! As long as I can hear this song at least eight more times before I die, I won't be hitting up my neighbors for smack.

Hey here's a theory. BETTY killed Jenny. In self-defense! Yeah? Good one, right? Actually that might be my best theory.

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Carly:
"Alex loves the song, she bought the BETTY CD, she's following them on twitter ..."
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A lot of things make a comeback in episode one. You know how I feel about spoilers, so I'm not gonna give you any today unless you consider all screenshots to be spoilers in which case abandon ship immediately. They're not revelatory. Have any of you not already watched it? I feel like it's online and you're all CHEATING! That's fine, cheat away.

ALSO PLEASE VOTE FOR MY BLOG THIS GIRL CALLED AUTOMATIC WIN for he 2008 Webblog Awards, the most important awards of its kind, DON'T LET THE REPUBLICANS BEAT ME! IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT AND EVERY VOTE COUNTS THANK YOU.

It takes full body movement to be this funny you guys.
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We had an L Word premiere get-together -- I gots to watch this shit ahead of time so I can make timely recaps.

Firstly, our friend and Carly's Lover Partner Special Friend Robin Roemer is an amazing photographer, holy shit. Anyone who can make seven girls sitting in a pitch-dark room watching television look like a retrospective-worthy photography exhibit is probs the best event/wedding photographer of all time. I'm not just saying this, when she sent them to me I was like, omg, firstly, it was so dark in there, secondly, we all look so dynamic and interesting!

Keep that in mind next time you need a portrait, commitment ceremony or sexy-time photographer. (She's also photographed some of your other favorite people including Uh Huh Her, Sarah McLachlan, Katy Perry, Annie Lennox, The B-52s, Lady GaGa and Cyndi Lauper.) Anyhow. That's where these photos are from.

We'll still have the traditional sucky macbook photos in the recap, of course.

We had a special visitor from Australia (Oz, co-leader of The L Word Online ) and creator, head writer, director and executive producer of AfterEllen's hit series Alexi's Closet, Alexi Melvin. Because the "Fly Riese to LA and/or Haviland to NYC so they can vlog and watch The L Word together" fund is very empty (TIP JAR PEOPLE!), she obvs won't be watching, but I did get everyone else to come, and this little post will end with all of Team Autostraddle telling YOU what they've liked best, and loathed, about The L Word thus far.

Carly's promised to attend every recap. Alex actually is the only one who truly did attend every single recap last season. I think it's cause she liked Helena so much, she just wanted to be wherever Helena would be you know? So we have ...

Clockwise L to R: Caitlin, Carly, Oz, Sam, Riese, Alexi, A;ex. (Robin behind the camera) ARE BACK!

What else is COMING BACK THIS SEASON?
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Alice's Cute Glasses = BACK.
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Alice! LOLZ!
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Our personal illustrator
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The text on the graphic reads: "Oh no! Jenny is dead!"
Look it's me ... Caitlin, Robin, Carly ... look at our big toophins.
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Shane's Jeep = BACK.
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Jesus Christ, we are so fucking funny sometimes it's fucking painful.
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We're not in the land down under anymore, Sounder.
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Papi=BACK
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PAPI?!!? REALLY?!
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Shane's Season One Striped Pants = BACK.
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Talkin' trash about Ilene.
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Tasha's bandana = BACK
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"Untapped resource, right here. Vault of ideas." (Carly)
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Givin' the ol' reacharound.
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Tina's "Bette, I know you so well, I know your soul like I had it for breakfast with Sunny D,
I love you like babies love sandboxes, I know you, you're my baby forever" look
that always accompanies Bette's barely-held-back tears = BACK
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"This is NOT the way that we live." (everyone)
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Kit talking crazy = BACK
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"Reggaton is the music of my people." (A;ex)
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Everything taking place in Alice's hallway = BACK
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"Her carbon footprint is BIG." (Carly)
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Sweet tender heartwarming Angelica, Mama B and Mama T moments for all ye 'Tibbetters" out there. = BACK
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"See, that's Bette. And that's Kit behind her!"
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"That's her sister!"
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Nikki's Tits = BACK
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Robin & Carly drank all the wine and ate all the popcorn = BACK
(UPDATE: Carly & A;ex ate all the popcorn. "I'm the fatass here, not Robin." - Carly)
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Hi guys! Back with the written word here. So, we're working hard at moving autostraddle to an even better platform with heaps more stuff on it before the premiere. So that's something to look forward to besides um, THE KILLER SEASON! But first I asked everyone to take a look backwards and remember what they loved & hated from prior seasons.


Faves: "The Lara Stakeout, the Tina-and-Bette-are-Boring Intervention, every time Shane & Carmen hooked up and the stoned & dancing to the Jackson Five scene. My faves were chosen 'cause they show the gang having fun together. Or they involve Carmen being hot, 'cause ... she is."

Most hated: "The Dana dying storyline and Jenny's flashbacks/weird dream things. Least faves are obvious. Just the most tedious storylines that I hate-hate-hated. Actually I hate hate hated a lot (*cough*Hazel ... that was the name of the nannyfuckingmotherfucker, right?)"
Faves: "When Shane had to wear a dress for the quincinera and it looked so silly, that was funny, or when they try to find out if the chef is gay and they go in there secret-agent style. Oh! and the basketball scene."

Least Favorite: "Dana mirage in the waterfall."





Faves:
"Either the phone tree from season four, or Shane & Carmen playing 'Too Hot' in Season Two. Or any Tibette sex scenes and when Jodi talks. Obvs JK on the last two."



Faves: "This might sound random and insignificant compared to scenes with "deeper meanings," but the basketball scene is one of my favorite scenes EVER. It wasn't too dramatic, it didn't feel fake -- in genuinely seemed like something I could relate to and it made me laugh. It was like something I'd do with my friends, and the reality and spontaneity made it all the more fun to watch."

Worstest: "The worst scene for me was when Dana died. I am a huge fan of the Dana/Alice relationship, and I think that in her final moments, Dana realized what a mistake she'd made, leaving Alice. I can't ever go back to that scene because it twists my insides! Why couldn't Alice and Dana live happily ever after?! Who would it hurt?? Besides Lara."

Fave: When Jenny is crawling around in the backyard and she goes "I was just looking for some toast." Also at the wedding in season five when Shane's drinking a lot and someone's like are you okay, and Shane's like, I'm FINNNEEE in this crazy voice. When Kit runs up on stage like a drunk hot mess and calls Angus a nanny-fucking-motherfucker.

Least Fave: All the times in Season Two when we were supposed to imagine Shane being sexually attracted to various members of the band BETTY." I mean come on.


Fave:
"The opening song. I could just watch it over and over. No really, off the top I guess I would have to say that opening when Alice, Shane Jenny and Helena were in that Charlie's Angels spoof. Its just so stupid and so amazing at the same time. I love things that are stupid and amazing. Shane's accent really kills me in this- its horrid. Also I like watching Alice flip around her crazy blonde hair."

Also off the top of my head is that scene when Alice gets upside after reading Jenny's article in the New Yorker "FICTION" section. My two FAVORITE characters at their best.

Jenny: "Oh my God, it's Monet. Monet has come back from the dead and he wants me to give you a message. He says, I'm so sorry for sitting in front of my pond in France and sketching those water lilies and using the water lilies as actual inspiration. Sorry to offend Alice."
Alice: Right... Oh wait, he's talking to me...so weird. What? Ok, I'll let her. He said, don't ever fucking compare yourself to him again!

HAVILAND

Fave
: "Season One was far superior to any other. My favorite moments? The Everything is Perfect Now blackout sexathon, the Dinah Shore episode, the introduction of Helena Peabody and anytime Mama Peabody was on screen. Also, 'I financed the HELL out of this unit' ... oh wait, that was me."



SLICEY! from The L Word Online has her picks:

My favorite SCENE would have to be the Is-Dana-Gay/Mission Impossible scene. I love any scene of the L word where the main group of ladies are together and I thought it was so cute that they all came together to help Dana out, even though she was completely embarrassed by it! And I thought it was actually pretty realistic in a quirky kind of way.

My favorite MOMENT, however, was when Shane and Alice are eating pot brownies...excuse me, "PARTY brownies" in the kitchen and Shane offers her movie double a brownie, saying, "They're not gay!" and then Kate and Leisha totally break character for a moment when they start cracking up imagining gay brownies.

The absolute worst was the Jenny-mushroom-exodus. I remember being SO BORED watching that episode and asking Oz over and over, "What is this?," "Why isn't anything happening?," It was so excruciating. I don't know what Ilene was doing to us, but I'm pretty sure that ep was 20 solid minutes of Jenny weirdness. I'm positive that I didn't laugh or smile one single time in that entire episode.


Are you so excitant for Season Six?


We certainly are!
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10 days ... til the first RECAP of Episode 601: "Long Night's Journey into Day."

13 comments:

  1. Vashti said...

    So basically I'm going to add to this comment as I read so I can actually say everything I want to say.

    - The pictures! They're actual pictures! And they look A-MAZ-ING! It's so weird not seeing all of your reactions via macbook pics. Oh wait! It's because you just got you mac back. I see what you did there.

    - I'm totes one of the people who cheated and watched it on youtube whenever it first popped up there. A few weeks ago? I don't know.

    - LOL @ your face in the "PAPI?!!? REALLY?!" pic.

    - To be fair, Shane was wearing those striped pants in the season 5 finale. But whatever. Beetlejuicex3.

    - Obvs I'm excitant for season 6 [and the recaps!!]. I hope Carmen comes back. I've heard rumors. I don't remember if I heard them confirmed though. Maybe? I hope so. She can kill Jenny or something.

    My word verif is a digital pen stroke away from being tonsil. Maybe it's cuz I can almost see Carly's in the last photo.  

  2. carlytron said...

    I love that I look like a muppet in every single photo.

    Also, I ate all of the popcorn (along with A;ex), R didn't have any. I am the fatass here, not her.

    But drunk? I was definitely drunk.

    I can't believe I left out the basketball scene in my favorite momentssss.  

  3. burningsteady said...

    I'm pretty much stoked. The bar that hosted us with free big screen last year is back at it this season. And, as you know, the best part about watching this awfulness is watching it with a good group of people. Clearly. Watching L Word alone is like drinking alone.  

  4. Anonymous said...

    this was super amazing, you and robin combined are a super team. carly is the idea super store, write that down. yay l word.  

  5. MoonKiller said...

    My favourite bit was probably when they stole the 17 Reasons Why sign. I can't really remember what happened but I recall someone getting pushed through a window and I remember laughing a lot. And when Shane and Alice are playing video games with wacky hairstyles, that bit was funny too when Alice is shouting 'Die motherfuckerrr!'

    And it's weird that it's only 10 days away. Can. Not. Wait...





    for your recaps.  

  6. a;ex said...

    nice carly, way to blow my cover. next you'll be telling people I broke a sofa or something :P

    I think Riese's favorite L Word moments are the best. I don't remember Jenny crawling around looking for toast (surprising) but thats amazing.

    I'd like to add to my favorite moments the time that James told Bette she had a phone call and she responds with "Fuck you James. Just... FUCK YOU."

    Oh, and nice screen shot of Shane. WTF is that, she's workin it and Rupaul would be proud.  

  7. stef said...

    alright, firstly, lovely work, robin.

    secondly, drunken popcorn thief carly looks like the most fun person to watch television with ever.

    thirdly, that sketch looks rad, i hope you get a scan of it.

    fourthly, alex's hair is no joke. i feel like the first time i met alex she had pigtails, and now she's a lady.

    oh and fifthly, this show blows.  

  8. stef said...

    oh, and shane totally bought those pants at trash and vaudeville. for real.  

  9. Alexi said...

    Oh, gosh. Yeah. I agree, Alex! The "FUCK you James.." that is definitely at the top of my list as well.

    Actually.. any time Bette curses or screams. Angry Bette makes my life.  

  10. Anonymous said...

    this is fun :)  

  11. Oz said...

    Yeah thanks for an awesome night you guys! It was so much fun. I wish I could attend ALL the recaps!  

  12. cookies said...

    Nice pictures!
    Can't wait for the show to come back, I cheated too and watched the first episode. semi colon's hair looks great!
    My favourite moments include Helena trying to dismantle Alice's Dana shrine, Alpha Bette strangling the bunny, swearing at James and any scenes involving Carmen's butt cheeks? lol.

    Worst: The Intro, Dana dying, Toe, naked Phyllis, sweaty Max.  

  13. Anonymous said...

    Alex has got nice arms! :D  

About This Blog

Auto-Straddle is where Autowin indulges her guilty pleasures -- The L Word, South of Nowhere, and other queer pop culture.

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